Prologue
Imagine being a young woman, thirty something years of age, married,
with two children, a relatively nice job, and a letter of acceptance
to an Ivy League graduate school program. Yes, I am ready. I have my
spirituality in focus, the love and support of my family, and I am
ready to take on the world. I am energized and poised for further
success. Then one day, out of the clear blue sky, I noticed what
appeared to be a breast deformity. The shape of my left breast had
actually changed. I thought this phenomenon to be strange, but was not
alarmed because I was getting regular check-ups and cancer screenings,
and all had been well in the land of health, so I thought.
I marched myself up to the nearest cancer-screening clinic to have the
breast checked out. After about three weeks, 1 mammogram, a muscle
tissue biopsy, and a CAT scan, I was diagnosed with infiltrating
ductile cell carcinoma - stage IIIB. Upon receiving immediate
treatment of chemotherapy, which was not effective, I underwent a
modified radical mastectomy. A few months later, my doctors urged me
to undergo a peripheral stem cell transplant (also referred to as an
autologous bone marrow transplant) in conjunction with high dose
chemotherapy. In this procedure, according to the American Cancer
Society, bone marrow or stem cells from the blood are taken from the
patient and reinfused after high doses of chemotherapy have been
administered. The treatment is commonly used in women with advanced
breast cancer, but there is a growing trend for its use in patients
with earlier stages of breast cancer. Also, according to the American
Cancer Society, cancer is the second largest cause of death in the
United States, exceeded only by heart disease. Cancer does not
discriminate. It ignores one's race, ethnicity, religious background,
age, and sexual orientation. You need not even be of the human species
to develop cancer.
Because autologous bone marrow, and peripheral stem cell transplants
are relatively new procedures, conclusive success rate statistics are
not yet available. According to my doctor, there is approximately an
eighty-five percent success rate. My doctors tell me that the benefits
outweigh the side effects. I am hoping that is the case for me. My
surgeon told me that I had a 5 to 10 percent of surviving 5 years
after the transplant. It would take all that I had mentally,
physically, and spiritually, to endure what happened next.
The pages of this book will reflect a psychological account of a
twenty-three day medical procedure, written from the perspective of
me, the patient. The accounts are both during, and retrospective of,
my physiological ordeal. While revisiting and analyzing my hospital
stay, I decided to incorporate my personal thoughts in the form of
poetry and prose, or what I call, "ponderances of the day",
to sum up my feelings as each day passed. I hope you will find them to
be insightful, inspirational, and amusing. I wrote them all.
This book is also for anyone who has either had cancer, presently has
cancer, knows someone who has or had it, or who has an interest in
knowing what it might be like to undergo a peripheral stem-cell
transplant in conjunction with high dose chemotherapy.
This book should serve as a source of inspiration and hope for a
bright future for people with advanced stages of cancer. It is
conquerable and I plan to conquer it, fully. The readers of this book
of memoirs should understand that the rebirth that unfolds within
these pages is truly a rebirth in every sense of the word. It is a
rebirth of the mind, body, and spirit. And, as with any rebirth, the
offspring comes back into life's forces with renewed hope, spirit and
endless possibilities. I wish you success sin your rebirth should you
choose to undergo one. May the spiritual forces bestow their
unyielding healing and existential powers upon you. Please have every
reason to feel positive, confident, and empowered with a sense of
self-actualization and hope that one a divine consummation can
achieve.
Keeping the
faith,
Donna M. Weston
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