Overview

In order to benefit those who may be tempted to stray from accepted standards of behavior because fundamental principles of conduct previously adhered to are viewed as primitive and/or counterproductive, I document the detrimental precursors leading to my vehicular tragedy in the first two chapters of my book. Mistakenly thinking that substance use could rid me of my faulty perception that I was somehow a deprived adolescent, I detail my personal escapades experimenting with marijuana and alcohol as an idiotic college freshman, so that the long-term harm of resorting to such means as a “solution” to problems may be highlighted. My clouded teenaged perspective of the world and sequestered presence both contributing to an inaccurate view of my place in the universe, I try to paint a picture with words of how various influences guided the view of myself as inept, with the hopes that aspiring adults who may read this account of my catastrophe don’t let impulses and/or crazed hormonal influences impede their development. The opening frames of this personal expose also written with the intent of demonstrating what can result if certain practices of behavior are adopted---incorporating my ensuing understanding as a family therapist and counseling supervisor into my writing---I also attempt to model the importance of reviewing certain dynamics which can commonly occur within different households. Simply put, just try to discourage younger people from living on “The Wild Side” by relaying what could realistically happen to them by making this choice and to stress how the “messages” sent by members within a family system can leave a powerful impact on impressionable minds.

Emphasizing how these different variables led to the accident, the three middle chapters not only detail firsthand this survivor’s psychological, cognitive, and physical struggles battling the symptoms of a severe brain injury, but the emotional impact such a condition had on those who cared for me. Providing an example for both the novice and professional, my objective being so specific in these interior chapters was to educate the reader about what exactly one can encounter when the core of the central nervous system has been damaged. Indicating my recognition level at a given time, an appetizing interplay of the first and third persons are utilized to give the reader an authentic “feel” of what exactly I could sense in my environment. Events are conveyed utilizing my perspective in the initial two chapters, however, descriptions of various circumstances assume a narrative format outside of my vantage point during those instances when my mind was incapable of processing my surroundings. Gathered from notes/memoirs of my state when I was comatose at Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh and an aphasic rehab inpatient, precise dates and occurrences are presented.

Only about five weeks after the surface of my brain was bruised, from admission to discharge, the rehabilitation center I would subsequently be transferred to would begin to videotape my therapies and consequential progress. A patient in Harmarville Rehabilitation Center’s brain trauma unit for approximately five months, a series of cognitive and physical therapy sessions would be filmed over time and made into one videotape approximately fifteen minutes in length. Showcasing several of the symptoms noted in my book, amazing everyone who has ever viewed this film because of the healthy manner in which I currently present myself, I had been told that this videotaped depiction of my astounding comeback has been the feature of training sessions in Europe. Used for many years to promote the efficiency of Harmarville’s head injury therapy program and as an educational tool for Psychology graduate students at the University of Pittsburgh, this public relations’/instructional tape captures a truly remarkable recovery that anybody could appreciate. Serving as confirmation of my one-time critical condition, this videotaped evidence substantiates the claims that mine is a genuinely different kind of human-interest story.

Positioned in my wheelchair and unable to talk coherently while being asked elementary tasks such as identifying pictures of family members in the beginning of the video, to walking out of the rehab the day I was finally released, select segments of my effort and recovery were captured on tape, including how I---as an eighteen-year-old---forgot how to write because a good portion of my neurological system had been splattered on a telephone pole. Agraphia is an aphasic condition where one loses their ability to express thoughts in writing because of trauma to the mental processes. With the great majority of works being of the professional reference variety, there are but a few books about head injury which even vaguely resemble my project. With the one-hundred or so books listed in the Brain Injury Association’s 1999 Catalogue of Educational Resources supporting this claim, not only are there an absence of titles exclusively written by head injury survivors advertised in reader’s directories or occupying space on shelves, but absolutely none were ever authored by a one-time critically brain traumatized young adult who once couldn’t even remember how to manufacture letters in their mind and replicate these symbols on stationery. A form of amnesia, my one-time inability to jot down words on paper and subsequent achievement of writing a book about my trials would appear to be a solid promotional bonus for my work and any reviewer who would critique my record as a project worthy of consideration.

Although not necessarily a measure of their merit, the limited number of pages characteristic of various outlines could serve as an index that none are quite as extensively detailed/all-encompassing as the book highlighting my astonishing ordeal. Unlike so many other related topics on the market, the fact that my manuscript had been written by someone who had personally endured the terror of a severe head injury disability and recovered so magnificently from this traumatic brain injury that he was capable of earning an advanced Master’s-level educational status and work professionally as a therapist should give this book the quality of validity and authenticity. Not to make light of other written endeavors or to sound vain in any way, this writer accomplishing so much in the face of such destructive handicap would seem to lend credence and significance to this global memoir's existence. Unfortunately, upon reentering the real world after being hurt, I would soon discover that negative societal opinions towards those with histories of brain damage would be just as--if not more--difficult than any debilities caused by the injury to my brain.

Upon my pursuits to become a contributing member of society, in addition to underscoring different outpatient efforts and many circumstances surrounding my re-entry into college, the next three chapters deal with my unending attempts to overcome the guarded postures which notoriously accompanies anyone whose thinking at one time wasn’t “hitting on all eight cylinders.” Because bigotry is a stealth attitude which is largely outside of the recipient's control-- even more trying than any physical setbacks or cognitive aphasias experienced, biased judgements have been the most difficult hurdle I’ve had to overcome since being squashed into that utility pole. Throughout my travels over the years being a survivor of a traumatic brain injury, from job pursuits to interpersonal relationships, I have recorded in my life story some of the less-than-accepting occurrences which are part of my history because of the hesitant position held towards those who once sustained a severe brain contusion.

With the ninth and final chapter summarizing a few aspects of the previous eight, I try to wrap things up and answer as many ambiguous blanks as I possibly can. Finishing with a strong and realistic message, the contents of this non-fiction account would appear to have the potential of being a prominent educational and motivational “voice” for those who decide to absorb its teachings/meaning. Having briefly recapped my autobiography in this overview, a concise description of the individual chapters will be presented in the table of contents.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 (pp 1-18) :  Covert Tears of One 
Spending so much of my adolescence as a loner, I document how this hormonal perspective of the world left me feeling unhappy and uncertain what I wanted out of life, as I tried to escape the trap I perceived as enveloping me.

Chapter 2 (pp  19-38) :  Making of a Nightmare
An anti-drug chapter intended to portray the harm substance use can have, I recount my college freshman escapades venturing into this sphere and how idiotically associating with those who belonged to this subculture were the precursors leading to the vehicular tragedy.

Chapter 3 (pp  39-102) :  Coma’s Silent Emptiness
Utilizing the third person because my personal recollection of when I was in this condition is non-existent, a precise record of dates, events, and emotions are presented, as seen through my family’s eyes. Click Here to read chapter 3 ( PDF file  263k)

Chapter 4 (pp  103-197) :  Turning Point
Consciousness slowly evolving, I write about the juncture of my life where I begin capturing a trace of my physical and cognitive processes while in Harmarville Rehabilitation Center’s brain trauma unit.

Chapter 5 (pp  198-328) :  The Awakening
From a patient’s perspective, in this section of my chronicle, I begin providing extensive firsthand detail of the true agony a brain injury disability and subsequent therapy have on its victims because I finally become totally aware of my surroundings at this point in my book, April 27, 1982.

Chapter 6 (pp  329-372) :  Transition:  The Long Journey Back
Examining many of my struggles attempting to gain admission back into society, I relay the multitude of difficulties trying to attain acceptance by self and others in a world overrunning with healthy peers.

Chapter 7 (pp  373-494) :  Equal Opportunity:  Fact or Fiction?
Accentuating how universal guarded postures and negative sentiments directed towards those with disabilities interferes with progress, I attempt to make some sort of statement about how uncompromising positions can hamper one’s strivings for fair consideration in the professional workplace.

Chapter 8 (pp  495-584) :  New Medico
Presenting itself as a system of rehab centers dedicated to the care of individuals who had sustained neurological impairments, from the initial excitement believing this to be a windfall operation to witnessing various workings characteristic of the mother company which led to this body receiving national attention, I profile my student training experience at one of their satellite facilities.