Table of Contents

Acknowledgements …………… vii   Forward …………… xv   About the Author …………… xiii   Growing Up With a Sidekick …………… 1   Parenting Principles …………… 5   Expectations and Preparation …………… 7    Your Plural Pregnancy …………… 10   Imperfect Strangers …………… 16   Gaining Support …………… 18   Doctors and Hospitals …………… 21   The Name Game …………… 24   Things You'd Rather Avoid But Can't …………… 27   Working Out Work Related Issues …………… 29   Time for Bedrest? …………… 33   In-Activities …………… 36   Things That Don't Cost Anything …………… 40   Registering: Pre and Post Planning …………… 42   Things to Consider, Things to Avoid …………… 46   Nursery Necessities …………… 54   Parents Preferences …………… 57   Handy Things …………… 60   Not-so-Handy Things …………… 65   The Poop on Diapers …………… 69   Car Seat Safety and Tips …………… 72   The Low Down on Highchairs …………… 75   Things That Stroll …………… 78   Minivans and Other Minutiae …………… 84   Organizing and Creating Space …………… 89   Parenting Pets …………… 92   Relation-Ships That Pass in the Night …………… 94   The Multiple Birth …………… 95   The Pediatrician …………… 104   Multiple Medications …………… 108   Simple Things That Simplify …………… 110   Volunteered Help …………… 114   Hiring and Firing Paid Help …………… 117   Pacifiers: The Love/Hate Relationship …………… 124   Infants …………… 126   A Briefing About Breastfeeding …………… 128   Not-so-Basic Bottle-Feeding Basics …………… 134   Formula and Other Fluids …………… 138   Hints for Burping and Relieving Gas …………… 142   Assembling Your Assembly Line: Feeding Techniques …………… 144   Continuous Crying …………… 148   Could it be...Colic? …………… 152   Feeling Blue …………… 155   Bouts of Relaxation …………… 158   Showering: The Logistical Nightmare …………… 161   Bathing Your Beauties …………… 164   Bedtime Basics …………… 167   Sleeping: Children and Parents …………… 170   Secrets to Keep From Your Spouse …………… 176   Cribs and Beds …………… 178   Tips to Digest: Solid Foods …………… 181   The Infamous "Schedule" …………… 184   Teething Pains …………… 188   One-on-One Time …………… 190   Comparisons …………… 192   Creative Grocery Shopping …………… 194   Shopping: Saving Money and Your Sanity …………… 196   Dine and Dash …………… 199   The Laundry List …………… 202   The Dirt on Messes …………… 204   Working Vacations …………… 206   Dentist Visits …………… 209   Taking Away Bottles and Pacifiers …………… 211   Smiles for the Camera! …………… 213   Safety Issues …………… 216   Children Proofing …………… 219   When Your Zoo is Two …………… 222   Time and Time Again Time-Outs …………… 225   Toilet Training Twins or Triplets …………… 228   Pre-School: Getting Waitlisted …………… 234   Saving for College and More …………… 237   Reassurance and Positive Thoughts …………… 240   Tips That Will Last a Lifetime …………… 242   Things Mothers of Multiples Will Only Admit to Other Mothers of Multiples …………… 244   Why Multiples are Easier Than Singletons …………… 247   Tip #1,002 …………… 250   Index …………… 253

Foreword

Congratulations on the much anticipated birth of your twins or triplets!  You must be just as excited as you are feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Knowing this, I have written The Multiples Manual in an attempt to better prepare you for this incredible journey that lies ahead.

When I speak about a "journey", I am not necessarily describing a single journey that may take months or even years.  With multiples, a journey can be a day or even an hour!  I use the word "incredible" to describe the journey because it best describes the multiples experience.  Everything is "incredible", - the challenges as well as the joys.  The challenges can be exceptionally difficult, and the joys bring emotions one never knew existed.  This book focuses primarily on the challenges in an attempt to make your days and nights a bit more organized, less harried and more enjoyable.

There is one thing that you must remember while reading The Multiples Manual: This book is full of suggestions, not rules to live by.  Always remember what works best for you and your children.  There is no wrong way of doing something unless advised against by a medical professional.  There can also be more than a hundred right ways of doing something!

I have formatted this book to follow a general timeline of development.  As you read through this manual, use a pen or highlighter to mark the tips you might find useful.  This will make the tips easier to refer back to as your children go through various stages.  Although this book discusses topics such as childproofing and preschool, these subjects include information which should be understood before or soon after you give birth, to prepare you in advance of reaching a particular milestone.  Also note that although the tips are in a general time sequence, some topics may refer to more than one age group.

Because we have 1,002 tips to discuss, let's get started.  I know your time is precious!

Growing Up with a Sidekick

People often ask me, "What is the best part about being a twin?"  My response has always been, "I could write a book!"  Just about every fond memory I have has a vivid picture of my twin sharing the moment with me.  If I had to pinpoint one best part about being a twin, it would have to be having a twin.  Having a twin is a very special gift.  Realize that not only is your multiple pregnancy extraordinary, so too is the gift of friendship your multiples will share.

Growing up, my best friend was, and still is, my twin sister,  We had the same friends, same teachers, same grades, shared a bedroom, wore the same clothing.  You name it, it matched!  Today we continue to share.  We jointly own a twin-engine boat we appropriately names the "TWIN THING!"  Interestingly enough, we do not share a secret language or a sense of what the other twin is doing or thinking.  As I write this, I have no idea if my twin is happy or sad, nor do I know what she might be doing (although she is probably sleeping since it is very early in the morning).  There are many theories on this subject, and many parents are quite enamored with them.  My theory is that secret languages do not exist. Expect your multiples to share a special bond, but don't be disappointed if they are not telepathic!

Parents are often concerned about their children's individuality because people often refer to them as the "twins" or "triplets" and not by name.  What parents sometimes don't realize are two things: 1) It may be difficult for people to know, or remember, "who is who" unless they tattoo names on their foreheads (you will likely find this the case with identical and fraternal multiples, especially when they are young).  2) Multiples often enjoy being referred to as "twins" or "triplets", because it gives them a sense of notoriety.  My suggestion is not to let this bother you.  If it does, ask family members to call them by name (assuming they can tell them apart).  Otherwise, there isn't much you can do about what others choose to call your multiples.  Besides, is it all that different from parents referring to their singletons as the "kids"?  For what it's worth, I consider myself to be very independent, and I was rarely called "Lynn" but "twin".

When my triplets were babies, they were know as the "triplets" for obvious reasons.  They all sat, similar in size, in a triple stroller whenever we ventured out.  Unless someone saw them everyday, it would have been difficult for anyone to determine who was who, especially since they all looked like Winston Churchill (don't all babies look like that man?).  However, now that my children are five, this is no longer the case.  Today, someone might notice that we are with a group of kids that look to be about the same age, but rarely comment on the fact that we have triplets.  Parents of fraternal multiples have little to worry about on the subject of individuality, particularly as their children grow in to their own unique selves.

If you are concerned about your multiples maintaining their own identities, whether you dress them alike or not is probably not going to matter.  I have met scores of mothers who wonder if they are "doing the right thing" with regard to clothing.  Do whatever you think is the right thing to do, not what everyone else thinks.  Growing up, my twin and I were dressed alike all the time.  I didn't mind the matching outfits.  In fact, I don't recall having any opinion at all about whether I liked the "twin" thing or not.  What I did mind was the enormous bun and baloney curls my mother would create on the tops of our heads.  The worst part was that I could look at my sister and see how ridiculous I looked!  One suggestion: If you're going to match your multiples, do so with some fashion sense!  Other than that, don't think twice about it!