Table of Contents

Excerpt

Life as a Pension Consultant

The happy couple about to retire walks into my temporary on-site office which is provided by the host corporation. Usually it’s the office of someone who is on vacation. I set up shop with several chairs, a laptop with charts and graphs, a few handouts, and my HP calculator to estimate the potential future value of pensioners’ assets. Everyone in the company will stop in for a brief review to see if their long-term savings are on target. “How many years to retirement?” “How much in the 401(k) presently?” “How much can you save?” “Save more,” “You’re OK,” “Wow, that is a very good balance, you are in great shape.”

Management typically encourages employees to bring their spouses to meet with me, if possible, and occasionally I see a couple, as opposed to just individual employees. Hence the happy couple. I can see they are happy. Reading faces is a standard skill of most consultants. Besides, I have everyone’s account balances, which I review before they walk through the door. I know they are happy because they are retiring in what appears to be good health and ample assets in the 401(k)/profit sharing accounts. They beam while telling me about their plans. The Winnebego for the outwest- somewhere trip of a lifetime, visiting the kids in Arizona, his fishing cabin and her time to take it easy and reflect. A good time. Proud they earned it. They don’t need my advice; they are showing off. I am happy for them. Sincerely happy because they are the few: the successful ones.

Then, with far too much frequency, the couple with no or little assets walks in. I don’t want to read their faces. They are sad, they have been fighting; I can see they have been married forty years, and they love each other.He is a kind, uneducated gentleman.Honest with big-knuckled broken hands; hands that have done many a day’s work.Her eyes are red. I know she has been crying. Deep down they know this meeting is a waste of time, but they show up anyway. They are hoping I have some financial whiz-kid trick that can save them.

I do not have any tricks. They must think I lack sympathy because I act somewhat indifferently toward them.Cold and emotionless in a matter-of fact fashion; the way an experienced physician breaks the bad news to the terminally ill or to anxious loved ones in the hospital waiting room. The bearer of redundant bad news: no empathy, no emotion and not the slightest hint of sorrow. I say, “You don’t have enough to retire on.” The wife will half look at me and glance at her husband of many years and softly say,with a throat tightened by worry, “Social security is not enough.” He will hang his head in a prayerful pose and say, “Social security is not enough.” I chime in, “Social security is not enough. ”God,if I hear, “Social security is not enough” one more time I . . .

I am sick of seeing sad faces.What bothers me is the sad faces I see are 100 percent curable. It is possible to create long-term savings where all the sad faces are eliminated.