Excerpt

How Seamus Came to Wander Ireland

Once upon a time, in the land of Ireland, lived a man named Seamus McSeamus. He was the youngest some of Seamus McRaith, a prosperous farmer. His eldest brother, Fergus, was also a well-to-do farmer, while the second son, Angus, was a merchant and a trader. Seamus, however, was sometimes called a dreamer, a layabout, a ne'er-do-well. He liked to sing and talk and tell stories, but he hadn't the patience or drive to be a scholar nor to apply himself to learn the tales to be a true bard, or singer, or player of the harp and so earn an honest living by it. He was too softhearted for business - always giving away his goods to some poor sour with a sad tale - neither had he the skill to be a good farmer. So Seamus seldom had two coins to rub together, but still seemed content enough and was always surrounded by friends.

Now one time, the whole of the family was gathered together to celebrate the marriage of Angus, the second son. And as often happens, the older brothers began to pick on the younger.

"Well, Seamus," said Fergus, "is it not time for you to be settling down with a wife and home of your own? If you can afford it, that is!"

"True enough!" laughed Angus. "If it's a matter of what he can afford, 'twill be a long wait till our little Seamie can find either a wife or home, especially ones as fine as we've found."

"Oh, I don't know," Seamus replied mildly. "When I decide to set my mind on it, I think I can do a bit better than either of you."

"Ha!" Fergus snorted. "There's no better cook in the county than my Nessa, nor a finer farm wife to be found!"

"True, and no one could look at her and doubt either your prosperity or her cooking skills," laughed Seamus, for Nessa was both lovely and large, "but I'd prefer a more lightweight lass, if you take my meaning."

"There's none more daintier than my Réona, you cannot deny that!" said Angus, proudly.

"I cannot, and no one believes that more strongly than she does herself, Angus," Seamus retorted. "And it's a good thing you're such a fine provider, for her rich gowns and laces would impoverish many a man." True enough, the woman was known to be extravagant as she was beautiful. She was vain as well, but no man wants to be told such a thing about his wife, especially on his wedding day! Well, one word lead to another, and then there was shouting. The brothers were about to come to blows when their father, Old Seamus, bellowed across the hall "Silence, the lot of you!"

The room grew quiet as he strode across it, his eyes blazing with fury. The whole family, indeed, the whole town, listened as Old Seamus railed at his sons.

"Fergus, you're the eldest and should know better. And yet you began this whole row, more shame to you. You've said more than enough! You should get along home now and mind your cattle. As for you, Angus ... this is your wedding day so there's less blame to you. If it's trouble you're wanting, I'm sure that bride of yours will help you find plenty of it!" Angus's face turned bright red at this, but he knew better than to argue with his father, especially since it was true.

"But, you, Seamus! Your brothers are right that it is time for you to make your won way in the world. For your rudeness and bad behavior at your brother's wedding, I charge you make good boast. Leave this very day and don't come home until you bring with you as fine a wife as either of your sister-in-law." Such a charge, called a geis, was a very solemn thing in those days and carried the weight of a heavy obligation or curse.

"Ha!" scoffed Fergus, as he was making his way out of the hall. "We'll not be seeing our little brother again in this world if that is the burden upon him!"

At this, young Seamus lost his head altogether and shouted, "I'll return soon enough! I'll return within three years and with the daughter of a king as a bride, now see if I don't!" and he stormed out amidst gasps of shock and hoots of laughter, depending on whether they were friends of his or of his brothers. He packed his few belongings, kissed his mother good-bye and set off across the fields.

Well, Seamus had put his foot in it right well, now. Three years to find a bride and a princess at that! In those days there were still plenty of kings in Ireland and kings with many daughters, but it would still be no easy task he's set before himself. How would he manage? What sort of adventures lay before him? ANd did he go home with such a prize?

There's more than one tale there.