Reviews

"A beautiful book - inside and out. The cover is padded so it has that "journal" feel -- it's the perfect size to carry and fits easily in a bookbag or briefcase. I think the best feature of this book is the table of contents -- a comprehensive and well organized list of topics and subtopics covered in the journal which guide the reader through life's inevitable journey."
- Laura P. (Seattle, WA)

"Wow! I initially bought this for myself but found it so useful that I bought one for my dad. It allowed me to approach subjects with him about his future medical care and the type of arrangements he would want for himself upon his death. Most of all, it's given both of us the opportunity to record important information right in the journal so it's all in one book. Kudos to Ms. Vestevich!"
- Maggie Penney (Boulder, CO)

"I purchased this journal after the death of my aged parents this spring. Although they had a trust, there were many issues that were not addressed and my siblings and I were left with making decisions without our parents' input. Grant Me My Final Wish covers all the areas of one's life: professional / business, family / friends, personal, medical, religious, and legal. My husband and I each have our own copies and we are working through the pages together. It is comforting to know that our children will not be faced with wondering what we would want when the time comes. Grant Me My Final Wish is so beautifully written and well organized that once the journal is completed, it serves as a keepsake as well as documenting the author's wishes."
- Marilyn M. (San Diego, CA)

"My dear friend Cheryl gave me one of your books.  I just love it!  Thank you for writing this - what a wonderful idea!"
 - Lynn Rybinski, Manlius, NY

"I was fortunate enough to be able to get one of the very first copies of this newly published book,Grant Me My Final Wish.This beautifully designed book is destined to hit the Best Seller list before the year is out! If you have been searching for just the right words to let your loved ones know what you would like your "final wishes" to be, this book is what you need. What a beautiful final gift of love for you to leave behind ... Don't run the risk of having your loved ones guess what you would like your final wishes to be. If you cannot bring yourself to discuss the inevitable with them, you can simply give them this book when you feel the time is right. Thank you, Renata, for making such an unpleasant topic less stressful to deal with!"
- Ellen Bryant, Marketing Director, Detroit, MI

"Finally, I have a book that allows me to organize all of the important aspects of my inevitable death.  I feel greatly relieved to have Grant Me My Final Wish for myself and my family.  It is warmly and intelligently presented and should be a must for every family."
- Julie Doss, R.N., Washington, MI

"Recently, I acquired a copy of Grant Me My Final Wish.  This extremely attractive book addresses in a systematic way the issues that all of us should be thinking about.  Grant Me My Final Wish should be owned and used by everyone."
-Kenneth R. Blanchard, PH.D, M.D. (Boston, MA)

"I was told about this book by a fellow Rotarian who heard Ms. Vestevich speak at his meeting. It is very well designed and makes for a beautiful gift to give to friends and loved ones. Renata Marie created a useful tool to share one's vital information, memories and wishes for all to see so that when they're gone, they're never forgotten and their thoughts and wishes are known to all. Everyone should have a copy to augment their legal Will. After all the Terri Schiavo media attention I woke up to how important it is to have a living Will regardless of your age and write down what you want to happen if you're unable to let others know. Though there may be other books or journals out there for that purpose, Grant Me My Final Wish has to be the best! Renata Marie did a great job putting it together to help facilitate what should be included in the journal and make sure you know what you need to think about now and in the future. Worth every penny and then some! Bravo!"
- Michael C. Daniels, CIPA President (Buffalo Creek, CO)

"As a financial advisor I spend a great deal of time guiding my clients with their succession and estate planning needs.  Grant Me My Final Wish is a must have to help alleviate some of the emotional questions and answers loved ones may be seeking.  Renata Vestevich has also designed a beautiful keepsake."
- Lawrence J. Slabosz, Financial Advisor, Speaker, Member of Million Dollar Round Table (Troy, MI)

"As a physician, I highly recommend this uplifting, well-written and thoroughly organized personal planner.  A must for every household!"
- David Brownstein, M.D., International Lecturer, Author of 8 Books (West Bloomfield, MI)

"I am a registered nurse who is presently working on a masters degree in counseling.  I am thoroughly impressed with this journal, which is intelligently and compassionately written. There should be a copy in every home. Grant Me My Final Wish will open a difficult topic for discussion, as well as leave lasting memories for loved ones."
- Carol Franciosi, R.N., Rochester Hills, Michigan

"Words are inadequate for me to express how impressed I am with your book.  It is so beautifully executed - the design, the type-set, and the colors make it a work of art, in and of itself.  The quotations you chose are perfect for each section (young Mattie Stepanek certainly was an "old soul.")  More importantly, your book is a much needed record for everyone. Although I have a living trust which covers many things, that document does not include all the practical items in your book, let alone the personal and emotional responses that you illicit.  Completing the responses in your book will not only be a tremendous help to my family and friends, but it will also be a history and keepsake for them.  Equally important, it will be a thought-provoking journey for me as I go through the process of completing pages. Your book is a most creative endeavor and was written with love, understanding and heart. Your gentle choice of words are soothing, and will make the journal writing a pleasure, not a necessary chore. Congratulations on your award!  I am most grateful for the book and thankful to have people like you in my life!"
- Anne Kucher, Retired Schoolteacher, Rochester Hills, Michigan

Table of Contents

Preface	x
Introduction	1
My Personal Information	4
Medical Wishes	7
Important People to Notify	17
Family and Friends to Contact	27
Funeral Arrangements	51
Religious Wishes	63
Cremation	75
Legal and Financial	83
Minor Children/Dependent Adults	93
Special Care of Pets	103
Special Memories	111
Special Written Messages	155
My Favorite Photographs	181
My Final Wish by Ellen Bryant
Serenity Prayer
Gift - Rapt by Mattie J.T. Stepanek
Future Proceedings by Mattie J.T. Stepanek
About Promises by Mattie J.T. Stepanek

Excerpt

My personal experiences and my professional involvement with cancer patients inspired me to create this journal.

The sudden death of my father was the most profound emotional experience and loss I have endured. I was a typical 17-year-old high school senior, whose days were filled with homework, band practice, tennis and fun. The thought of death rarely entered my mind. I couldn’t even imagine losing a parent or sibling. At the time, it never seemed possible.

My father suffered a massive heart attack, leaving behind his 39-year-old wife and six children. Within hours after his death, we had to make many important decisions and plan for his funeral. My heart kept telling me this was all a terrible mistake, while my mind kept reminding me of the truth as we proceeded to make dozens of urgent decisions. Some of these included: choosing a funeral home; writing his obituary; remembering all those who should be notified; selecting a casket, clothing, flowers, music, readings, pallbearers, headstone inscription, etc.

After the funeral, we were confronted with many legal and financial matters.  Having to make these unprepared decisions during this time of intense grief was incredibly painful, difficult and almost too much to bear.  This would not be the only traumatic loss I would have to endure.

Years later, my dear sister-in-law was diagnosed with leukemia at age 33. Her fighting spirit endured for almost a year, before losing her courageous battle against cancer.

Prior to her death, our relationship deepened and our time together was spent talking about everything and anything – other than death.  During one of our final visits together, I sat next to her, holding her hand, sharing silent companionship.  Although uncertain about this matter, I felt compelled to ask her if she cared to share her thoughts with me about dying.  She sat up in her bed, began crying and told me how grateful she was that I had asked. She spoke for hours sharing her deepest fears, regrets and other disappointments in life.  She confided specific wishes that she would like to have honored upon her death.  Several days later, she passed away peacefully. 

Losing a loved one is certainly one of life’s most heartbreaking experiences. The tragedy of my family losses has taught me a great deal about love, life and death.  I have learned to love unconditionally, live with a greater sense of appreciation for every experience I encounter, and to be less afraid, especially of death. I’ve learned that our fears don’t stop death – they merely inhibit living a more complete life. Experiencing both family losses has underscored the importance of discussing and planning for death. Nothing on this earth is as natural as the miracle of birth or the certainty of death. Instinctively, we are all aware of this fact, and yet, most of us are reluctant to totally and freely accept the natural balance of our existence. Much of our day-to-day activities are directed at making the most of what life has to offer; consequently, we seem to give little thought to the ending of life.

It is my hope that you will take control of an important part of your life as you use this journal to personally communicate and direct your final wishes to your loved ones.